As health care workers, we tend to be caretakers in our personal as well as professional lives. Our own needs may often go unmet because we’re so focused on tending to the needs of our patients, our coworkers, our families, our friends, and our communities.
We’re at high risk of burnout in our jobs even under normal circumstances. For several years, we faced extraordinary levels of stress and trauma due to the COVID-19 pandemic, often without access to many of the resources that help us cope in typical times—our usual daily routines, our hobbies, our social activities, our vacation getaways, our rituals and rites of passage for celebrating and mourning life events and transitions.
This crisis took an immeasurable toll, which was reflected in unprecedented numbers of people struggling with and seeking help for depression, anxiety, and other behavioral health issues. As the threat of COVID-19 eased and societal conditions improved in meaningful ways, people became more hopeful and were able to return to some semblance of a normal life, although we had to acknowledge the reality that we could never truly go back to the life that we used to know.
Now there’s a new threat—a pandemic of a different sort. We’re experiencing heightened political, social, and economic tensions, to a degree that many of us have never encountered in our lifetimes. These have contributed to what for many has been an unimaginable loss of a sense of safety, security, and stability in our day-to-day lives. It’s more important than ever for us to make sure that we’re investing the time and energy in our own health that’s needed for us to be able to effectively care for the health of others.
Much of the typical advice on self-care tends to suggest strategies that may seem overwhelming or even impossible at first glance when it feels like there already aren’t enough hours in the day. Keep in mind that self-care doesn’t have to be a “project,” and that as with most tasks, breaking it down into smaller steps helps to make it more manageable, and to make it more likely that you’ll find ways to fit it into your life.
Make sure that you’re attending to your basic needs.
These are not just things like nutrition, hydration, sleep, and personal hygiene, but also things like physical activity, sunlight, and time with your family, friends, and pets, as well as time for yourself.
Physical activity doesn’t have to be “exercise.” It can be anything involving movement, such as stretching, dancing, and engaging in physical play with your kids or pets. At least thirty minutes a day would be ideal, but even just five or ten minutes here and there can go a long way toward improving your emotional state.
Almost none of us gets enough sleep—we tend to just make do. If you’re not in a position to get more sleep, at least try to break the habits that keep you from getting better sleep. Cut out the nighttime eating, put away the electronic devices, and turn off the lights.
You may have fallen into a pattern of staying in the house and interacting only with your immediate household members when you’re not at work in order to minimize your exposure risk and to conserve your mental and emotional energy. However, it’s important for your well-being to maintain your connections with the “outside” world, both literally and figuratively.
Work on increasing your self-awareness.
Many people find that practices such as journaling, meditation, and yoga are helpful for this, but you don’t have to do anything quite that structured or formal to benefit from increased self-knowledge.
Build “mindful moments” into your day—slow down, pause for a few minutes, and take the time to check in with yourself about how you’re feeling physically, mentally, and emotionally. Set specific times and reminders to do this if it helps you make the time for it.
Limit the amount of time you spend doing mindless activities. Work on sitting with your thoughts and feelings rather than distancing and disconnecting yourself from them, and on getting comfortable with being uncomfortable. While distraction can at times be a healthy coping strategy, problems tend to get worse the longer that you avoid dealing with them.
Use a notepad or mobile app to make brief written, audio, or video notes to make it easier to recognize patterns in your life and to see trends over time. This can help you develop the clarity you need to tackle and work through the challenges that you’re facing.
Take steps to address your stress.
While you need to stay informed about what’s going on in the world, you should monitor the amount of time that you spend consuming anxiety-provoking media coverage of current events and engaging in upsetting conversations about them.
It’s important to focus your mental and emotional energy on things that you can control, to prioritize the tasks to be done and the decisions to be made, and to remember that you almost always have some choice about what battles to fight.
It can be really hard to say no—and circumstances sometimes make it seem impossible—but doing so is essential for setting the healthy boundaries that you need in order to care for yourself.
Try to maintain structure and routines as much as possible, since doing activities at the same time every day helps to make things more predictable and controllable.
Break down tasks into smaller steps and try to focus on doing one at a time. Be realistic about what you can accomplish and how quickly you can do it.
Do your best to focus on what’s happening and what you can do in the present, rather than ruminating over the past or worrying too much about the future.
Give yourself permission to have “down time” on a regular basis—not every moment of every day has to be productive. It may help to reframe your thinking about what it means to be productive, which includes taking care of your own needs.
You are more than the job that you do—you are a whole human being.
Develop your skills for coping with stress.
Allow yourself to think your thoughts and to feel your feelings. Don’t get too caught up in trying to figure out whether you’re having the “right” reactions to things. While “reality checks” are an important tool in maintaining perspective, being overly focused on judging or seeking validation of the “correctness” of your reactions can get in the way of actually taking the actions needed to address the situation.
Techniques such as deep breathing, relaxation, guided imagery, grounding, and positive self-talk are well-established as being helpful in dealing with acute and chronic stress and emotional distress. Movement, writing, music, art, and crafting are some other activities that many people find calming.
Seeking community and connection with others can be helpful in gaining the emotional and instrumental support that you need to get through hard times, as well as in finding the meaning and purpose that you need to give direction to your day-to-day life.
Allow yourself some small indulgences that don’t derail you from reaching your goals.
Practice having empathy, patience, and compassion for yourself as much as you do for others. Strive to be flexible, to practice gratitude, and to foster hope in yourself and others.
Seek help if you’re having trouble managing on your own.
While there are numerous resources for self-help available (for example, books and articles, videos, mobile and computer-based apps, peer support groups and forums), keep in mind that due to the growth and expansion of telehealth services, behavioral health care is more accessible than ever before if you need it.
Signs that you might benefit from professional support in working through problems include issues with your thoughts, mood, behaviors, and/or relationships that are persisting over time and that are getting in the way of your everyday life.
Sometimes people put off getting help because they don’t want to talk about what’s bothering them, because they don’t want to take “mental health medications,” or because they don’t want anybody to know—or even to admit to themselves—that they’re having a hard time. That may be even more likely to happen for people like us who are used to being in the role of helping others.
It’s important to know that it’s okay not to be okay, that there’s no shame in needing help, that you’re not alone in your struggles, and that you don’t have to get through them by yourself.